Water aerobics, Warts, and Falling Air Conditioners

It's been a strange week.

Before I went to the beach, my dog Jack developed this very large "thing" on the side of his "private part". It happened practically overnight. We take the dogs swimming, and most of the time it's in waters that are stagnant, so when we get home, they get hosed off in the backyard. Well, I was hosing off Jack, and scrubbing his belly, and thought he'd gotten a burr attached "down there". I said, "Todd, can you get that burr off of Jack's wee-wee while I rinse off the other dogs." Todd takes a look at it and says, "It's not a burr." Now, since this thing is HUGE, and hard and nasty looking, and basically developed over the course of 2 days, you can bet he went to the vet the next day. The vet tech looks at it and says they see them all the time, and that it is a sac filled with a bug larvae. Now I'm really getting grossed out. Especially since I had squeezed on it the night before. Then the vet comes in and says, no it's a tumor, and it needs to be removed and checked to make sure it's not cancer. Cancer? Jack's 2 years old. And on his wee-wee?

Well, I put off having it cut off, because we're going to the beach and he can't get stitches wet. But last week, off it comes. I get the male vet to cut it off since I think he might be a little more sensitive to that area. In the meantime, while we wait for the lab to determine what it is, there's no more swimming in stagnant waters. But we learn something interesting about Turnip, the Green Bean diet dog. Todd's out back, watering the plants, and Turnip is pitching a fit. She's chasing the water hose all over the place. Todd sprays her with the hose and she goes crazy. I mean crazy. This little tiny dog wants the water hose sprayed at her full force in the face, and she can't get enough of it. She biting at the water, and coughing and hacking, and getting soaking wet. And gets upset when he stops. Every day, when Todd comes over, she runs to the backyard and waits by the hose! I finally bought her a little wading pool, and she jumps in there and attacks the hose. So now Turnip, poor little obese dog that she is, has lost over 2 pounds in 2 weeks, from eating green beans and doing her water aerobics. I guess whoever adopts her will have to have a garden hose.

And then the other weird thing happens. My window air conditioner unit breaks. Of course, that's not the weird part. The weird part is that Todd goes to buy a new one, and while he's putting it in - my 2nd floor bedroom window - it falls out. A $250 air conditioner. So he buys another one. I don't know this is happening because I'm at work. Then Todd puts the second one in and IT falls out the 2nd floor window. At this point, I call and say, "hey, how's the AC installation going." You can tell right away from his voice that things aren't good. He says, "I've dropped 2 AC's out the window." I say, "you dropped 2!" Yep. I'm thinking, OMG, he just bought 2 window units and I still don't have air conditioning. What are the odds of dropping 2 of them out a window? So when I get home, I say, we gotta go back and buy a 3rd one, and he says fine, but we have to go to a different Lowe's, because I'm not going to the same Lowe's and buying a 3rd one there. Well, it takes us 2 days to build up enough of a support on the side of the house so that the 3rd one doesn't fall out. What's up with these new window units?

And then I get the good news. Jack doesn't have cancer. He just has genital warts. And they're contagious, so he could've spread them to the other dogs. What in the world has Jack been up to I'm wondering. But I'm glad he doesn't have cancer.